Abby Brewster: A sweet caring old lady who is loved by all. She has a Victorian
charm and grace about her. Her way of helping could also be considered–
murder. Very old-fashioned in an ironic way. (55-75)
Sides: Abby + Martha
Abby + Harper
Abby + Teddy
Gibbs + Abby

Martha Brewster: A sweet caring old lady who is loved by all. She has a
Victorian charm and grace about her. Her way of helping could also be
considered–murder. Very old-fashioned in an ironic way. (55-75)
Sides: Abby + Martha
Martha + Witherspoon

Elaine Harper: A sweet young lady who knows what she wants. She is in love
with Mortimer and she is not about to let him talk her out of their engagement.
Sides: Elaine + Mortimer

Mortimer Brewster: A young theatre critique who has a bunch of crazy people in
his family tree. He himself is afraid of becoming crazy as well as what may
happen if people find out about the skeletons in his families cellar. (25-30)
Sides: Rooney + Mortimer
OHara + Mortimer
Elaine + Mortimer

Teddy Brewster: A bit on the crazy side; Teddy Brewster thinks that he is
president teddy Roosevelt. He buries all of Martha and Abby’s “gentlemen” in the
basement. (25-35)
Side: Abby + Teddy

Jonathan Brewster: He was troubled as a child and is even more so as an
adult. He has escaped from a mental institution and has murdered multiple
people. In order to hide from the law Johnny has had to turn to plastic surgery to
alter his face, leaving him disfigured. (30-40)
Sides: Einstein + Jonathan

Dr. Einstein: A plastic surgeon who is often drinking. He has also escaped from
a mental institution. He has a German accent (30-50)
Sides: Einstein + Jonathan

The Rev. Dr Harper: A protective father to Elaine. (40-60) Side: Abby + Harper

Mr. Gibbs: A nice elderly man who lives alone and has no family. (60-70)
Side: Gibbs + Abby

Officer O’Hara A officer who doesn’t really want to be an officer. He wants to
write plays and is eager to tell the renowned critique Mortimer about his plot. He’s
not very good at reading the room or knowing when now is not a good time. (20-
40) Side: OHara + Mortimer

Officer Brophy: An officer of the law who is likable but maybe not the brightest
man on the force. (20-40) Side: Brophy + Klein

Officer Klein: Another officer of the law who is likable but maybe not the
brightest man on the force. (20-40) Side: Brophy + Klein

Lieutenant Rooney: All brawn and no brain. An officer of the law. (20-40) Side: Rooney + Mortimer

Mr. Witherspoon: Superintendent of Happy Dale sanitarium. (40-60) Side: Martha + Witherspoon